Mother's Day is fast approaching, so in light of this holiday, I'd like to write a little bit about my very own mother, Rhonda.
I know that 99.99% of us would say that our moms are awesome, the best, amazing, incredible, etc. etc. Really, I hate to burst your bubble, but mine is better. No really, I mean that. Please allow me to elaborate here for a bit.
Rhonda, as I called her when I was a young child (because no one else called her mom, why should I?) is a helluva woman. She gave birth to me when she was 22. During my "coming into the world", she lost a lot of blood. Yep, I almost killed my mom being born. Little did she know, that would be nothing in comparison to what I would put her through in my teenage years. I was an only child for a few years, until her and my dad found out they were going to be parents yet again. Sadly, however, she miscarried that baby. Not long after, she was pregnant again with my brother, who was born a month early. This was a result of doing hard farm labor because my grandmother had been diagnosed with leukemia and could not help my grandpa. It probably wasn't the best idea for her to lift heavy buckets of coal ashes and things of that nature, but she did what she felt she had to do. She was lucky not to lose him also. While she was pregnant with my sister (a couple of years after the birth of my brother), she lost her mother (my grandmother) to leukemia and her mother-in-law (my other grandmother) to a massive heart attack. This pregnancy progressed fine and she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. A couple of years after that, she had my youngest brother...No more babies after that! So, as you can see, this woman was pregnant five times, had four children. The fact that she has managed to deal with us without killing or beating us to a bloody pulp deserves an award in itself. We were bratty kids, then again, what kids don't have their bratty moments? Or hours, days, weeks, months, years in some cases?
Much of the time, she had to take care of us 4 kids on her own, not because my dad was a deadbeat. He was an active member of the United States Air Force, and for anyone that has any kind of understanding of the military lifestyle, you know what this entails. There were times my dad had to go out of state or out of country because of duty calls. There were a couple of times that mom packed us up and headed back north to Ohio (from Louisiana) to live with grandpa. This helped her a lot, but I think that in itself also caused her a lot of stress. Who really enjoys moving anyways?
Now, as I stated before, the fact that I almost killed her during labor was nothing compared to what I would put her through as a teenager. Let me talk about that. It's as if the moment I turned 13, my brain and common sense decided to go on strike. I started getting interested in boys, and of course that was all that mattered. If I was having a fight with that boyfriend-at-the-time, I took it out on poor mom like it was her fault. Then my grades dropped, I was no longer that straight-A student my parents were so proud of. This led to me hanging out with other kids that didn't care too much about school. While I used to be interested in extra curricular classes and activities, I replaced with smoking cigarettes and sneaking beer out of my friends' parent's refrigerators. In high school, I just went from bad to worse. I started dating a guy that was bad news. Let me offer a word of advice here, if your best friend and your mom agree with one another and say to ditch a guy, it's probably a VERY good idea to listen. Did I? Nope. Did I regret it? Most certainly. This guy, over a period of a year to a year and a half, became very abusive. It was mostly verbal and emotional, but there were times it did get physical and sexual. I know my mom worried constantly if something bad was going to happen to me. Unfortunately, it did. I won't elaborate exactly what that was, but it was pretty horrible. I still deal with it daily, and I don't think it is ever something that will leave my mind. I know it weighs on hers also. No mother should ever have to go through that, especially a mother like mine. I started to come to my senses, at least a little when I was 15. I dumped the bad guy and started dating a new one (who would later become my husband and father of my children). Things were okay until about a year later, when I got into really big trouble at school. I was almost expelled over what happened, and had to go to therapy in order to return to school. While my dad was so mad at me that he didn't talk to me or acknowledge me for 5 months, my mom still tried to make life bearable for me. She let my boyfriend come over, talk on the phone, have some kind of social life even if it made my dad mad.
As if the crap I put my mom through wasn't enough she was also dealing with a lot of her own problems on her own plate. She and her brother (my uncle) took turns taking care of my aging grandpa, who had a stroke and could no longer live on his own or take care of himself. This worked out until my uncle's crazy wife decided he didn't need to do his share, and pretty much dumped it all on my mom (who also worked full time on top of taking care of 4 kids, one of them being me, a very unruly-know-it-all teenager). She and my uncle didn't talk for almost a year because of that. They ended up making up over that when he and his wife separated, but sadly, a few months later he passed away unexpectedly. This caused a lot of stress on her because he was never officially divorced, so the crazy wife tried to take everything that should've rightfully been my mom's and grandpa's. Because my mom was tired of the fight (and reasons why are coming) she gave it up just to be over it.
A few months after my uncle passed, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, which is a form of cancer. If not caught as early as it was, it very well could have killed her. Thankfully, she is "cured" of this cancer and has been since 1997. She was informed by both her doctors and my grandpa's that is would be wise not to tell him of her cancer in fear that it would cause him problems (with her being his only living child). She did as she was told, even though it is against what she felt was right. Sadly, my grandpa passed away Jan. 15, 1997. So before she was 40, she buried both her parents and her brothers (one brother actually passed away in infancy before she was born).
So as you can see, my mom is a tough cookie. Plus, keep in mind, she also raised my 3 younger siblings, and each of them gave her a fair share of grief also (it's not really my place to say who did what). Now she has yet another hurdle to jump over. Apparently at a recent doctor appointment they found something in her breast to cause a little bit of concern. Yesterday, she had a biopsy performed where they found 2 masses (originally thought to be only one). We are hoping that it is just scar tissue from her Hodgkin's, but we will find out next week for sure.
I will close this blurb in my blog by reiterating that my mom is the best there is. She has proven it time and time again, I certainly hope that she is still around for a long time for me to brag about.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Failing our kids yet again
Yesterday was an important day for the children in our school district. We, as registered voters, had a huge responsibility, and we let our kids down...BIG time...
The last time a tax levy was passed for Tecumseh Local Schools was in 1995, that was my freshman year of high school. I am now 32 years old, and graduated 15 years ago. We have tried to get one to pass NINE TIMES since, and it fails each and every time. If this fails again in August, the State will take over our district, which is bad news. We have already made huge cuts since 2004, and more are on the way.
One of the biggest ones that will hit parents the hardest is transportation. Next year, bussing is only going to be provided for children K-8th grade, high school bussing will be eliminated, and because the high school is in the middle of the country, not too many kids can walk. If it fails again in August, bussing may be eliminated altogether.
Another thing that is going to hit us hard is "Pay-To-Play" for sports. We have already implemented this, but it will now be $750 PER KID, PER SPORT. Most of us in this community have no way to afford this, so sadly, our children may not be able to participate in a sport or activity that they love. This can also eliminate any opportunities for kids to get scholarships and get into college. This fee doesn't cover the costs of uniforms, transportation, or anything like that. It is just a fee to be able to be part of the team. In August, sports/extracurricular programs can be eliminated altogether also.
One more big problem that will come of all this next year affects elementary kids. Since it is not a requirement to have the "fun" classes as my kids like to call them, there will be no Art, P.E., or Music. So now the fun will be taken away from our youngest students, the age that they still LIKE school. Awesome, so now they will learn NOT to like school even younger. Oh and one more thing, this affects all the grades, there is no more field trips. We already cut down field trips to ONE per grade, per year. Now that's gone. No more field trips. I know when I was in school, I always LOVED going on field trips. The kids won't have that now.
Now that I vented via my blog, I still don't feel any better about the situation. I am hoping that there are readers out there that can empathize, and if you have any suggestions I am open to them! If you are a member of my community, and are in the Tecumseh Local School district, I hope that you will vote YES in August. Our kids need us. We reap what we sow, and if we are setting our kids up for failure, what do you think will happen in the future? It doesn't look too pretty...
The last time a tax levy was passed for Tecumseh Local Schools was in 1995, that was my freshman year of high school. I am now 32 years old, and graduated 15 years ago. We have tried to get one to pass NINE TIMES since, and it fails each and every time. If this fails again in August, the State will take over our district, which is bad news. We have already made huge cuts since 2004, and more are on the way.
One of the biggest ones that will hit parents the hardest is transportation. Next year, bussing is only going to be provided for children K-8th grade, high school bussing will be eliminated, and because the high school is in the middle of the country, not too many kids can walk. If it fails again in August, bussing may be eliminated altogether.
Another thing that is going to hit us hard is "Pay-To-Play" for sports. We have already implemented this, but it will now be $750 PER KID, PER SPORT. Most of us in this community have no way to afford this, so sadly, our children may not be able to participate in a sport or activity that they love. This can also eliminate any opportunities for kids to get scholarships and get into college. This fee doesn't cover the costs of uniforms, transportation, or anything like that. It is just a fee to be able to be part of the team. In August, sports/extracurricular programs can be eliminated altogether also.
One more big problem that will come of all this next year affects elementary kids. Since it is not a requirement to have the "fun" classes as my kids like to call them, there will be no Art, P.E., or Music. So now the fun will be taken away from our youngest students, the age that they still LIKE school. Awesome, so now they will learn NOT to like school even younger. Oh and one more thing, this affects all the grades, there is no more field trips. We already cut down field trips to ONE per grade, per year. Now that's gone. No more field trips. I know when I was in school, I always LOVED going on field trips. The kids won't have that now.
Now that I vented via my blog, I still don't feel any better about the situation. I am hoping that there are readers out there that can empathize, and if you have any suggestions I am open to them! If you are a member of my community, and are in the Tecumseh Local School district, I hope that you will vote YES in August. Our kids need us. We reap what we sow, and if we are setting our kids up for failure, what do you think will happen in the future? It doesn't look too pretty...
Monday, May 6, 2013
Technology and Social Media...How I Love to Hate You, and Hate to Love You
Technology and social media, I have a severe love-hate relationship with both. I am willing to bet I am not alone either.
Technology continues to get "smarter" and "faster", or so they claim to. Honestly, I think I have to kind of disagree a little bit. Years ago, I had a basic flip-phone. I could make calls and text with it, so it did what I expected it to. The main reason I picked this phone? Well, there are two reasons. It was a free (refurb) phone and it was purple (purple is one of my favorite colors, and because you don't see purple phones every day, made me love it more). Let me tell you, this phone was awesome! I never dropped calls, missed texts or voicemails, and I dropped this thing at least 1,000 times. It was wonderful, we had a great 3 1/2 year relationship. Yep, I didn't even upgrade when I could have because "if it's not broke, don't fix it". Well, one day I dropped it one too many times and the hinge busted. I couldn't see anything on the screen so the texting was no longer good, but I could still make calls and talk/hear (even if I had to hold it together to do so, lol). I was forced to upgrade, so I went with the iPhone 3. It was a decent phone, it did everything it was supposed to also, and we also had a great relationship until a few years later. It didn't want to hold a charge and the screen would freeze up more often than not. Well because that particular carrier and I weren't on a good relationship with each other, I went with another one (which honestly, I am even MORE unhappy with...but I'm stuck until February 2015) and the iPhone 4. I hate this damn phone! I drop calls like crazy, and can't even use it in my house! The other 3 phones on the same plan work just fine...This is even the second phone they sent me, we've done 2 hard reboots and still no luck. Many times, I don't get messages either...Oh well, sometimes I miss the days when we didn't have to carry these ball-n-chains, especially when the bill comes in!
Now that I am done ranting about technology, let's talk about social media. I love it, and hate it. It is a great tool if used right, but can be used against you also. What a lot of these kids (and I mean pre-teen/teenagers) don't realize is some of the stuff they put on there is just...I don't know the word I want to use here. There's this game a lot of them play, and what they do is put as their status "Rate me" or "Like for truth" or something stupid like that. So other kids respond with "ratings" or they tell the person posting what they think of them...Then they get upset because they don't rank high or get told that they aren't pretty enough to date or something along those lines. Don't we have a big enough problem with bullying? Why would any person purposely subject themselves to that? I don't get it. If I really wanted to know what you thought of me, I would ask you face-to-face, not online where everyone and their brother or stranger can see it. I don't want you to rate me, I may not like what you have to say! So, while bullying really sucks, this only adds to the problem. It doesn't help when these kids subject themselves to it like that. I can't feel sorry for them. It's times like this I am SO glad that Autumn (my 11-year old) doesn't feed into this stupid petty crap. She will even tell you herself it's stupid. This is why I allow her to have a Facebook, she understands what it is supposed to be used for, not some dumb popularity contest like so many seem to think.
While I am ranting on about social media and these kids, here's another thing that annoys me. Stupid self-taken pictures (usually in a messy/dirty bathroom or bedroom) with fish faces (I refuse to call it duck face, because those are made with Pringles, let's get that straight now) sometimes in clothing-or lack thereof-that makes you look like a prostitute in training. Kids really are very self-absorbed and they are in for a serious reality check when they grow up, if they ever do. Also, please utilize a dictionary/thesaurus-if you even know what those are- and spell check. I can't stand it when a certain pre-teen/teenager I know PURPOSELY misspells words. "Yea" becomes "yeaaaaa", "hey" becomes "heyyyyyyyyy", etc. Seriously, it makes it look like you need a new keyboard (in which case, get off your ass and go outside. You spend too much time on the computer/phone) or you just look stupid. That kind of typing does not do you any favors.
Keep in mind, children, that whatever is put on the internet is FOREVER. You can delete it off your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. but someone, somewhere can still pull it up and use it against you. I know this from personal experience, I lost a job that I absolutely loved because I blogged about a problem at work. While I didn't mention names, place, or when it happened, that employer knew exactly what I was talking about. While I still feel to this day I was in the right, she was in the wrong, it doesn't matter...I got fired as a result, even though I had erased the blog. These days, colleges and employers check your social media profiles. If they see you talking likeeeee thissss allllll theeee timeeee or spelling words lyke dis cos it looks kewl, they will look you over and pick someone who looks and acts more intelligent than that. Do you want to miss out on your dream job because you can't make an effort to spell? Or because you posted a picture of yourself at 15 years old getting trashed? Think long term here, boys and girls. I can say that I am glad that social media wasn't around for my teenage, or what I like to call my "young and dumb years" because I probably would have fallen into one of those traps to. I am only grateful that my oldest is smart enough to know this also. Only time will tell about my youngest, though. Let's hope she has enough sense to know better. If not, I am a very watchful mother hawk. I can giveth, and I will certainly taketh if I see that stupid crap go on when she gets her own profiles.
Well, I think I am done ranting and carrying on about my love-hate relationship with technology and social media. After rereading what I wrote, I realized I sound like a grumpy old woman (which I am NOT old, grumpy I can't really argue with) but hey, it's how I feel. Too bad the ones that need to read this, won't. Oh well, you can't help that, you can only hope they learn before it's too late.
Technology continues to get "smarter" and "faster", or so they claim to. Honestly, I think I have to kind of disagree a little bit. Years ago, I had a basic flip-phone. I could make calls and text with it, so it did what I expected it to. The main reason I picked this phone? Well, there are two reasons. It was a free (refurb) phone and it was purple (purple is one of my favorite colors, and because you don't see purple phones every day, made me love it more). Let me tell you, this phone was awesome! I never dropped calls, missed texts or voicemails, and I dropped this thing at least 1,000 times. It was wonderful, we had a great 3 1/2 year relationship. Yep, I didn't even upgrade when I could have because "if it's not broke, don't fix it". Well, one day I dropped it one too many times and the hinge busted. I couldn't see anything on the screen so the texting was no longer good, but I could still make calls and talk/hear (even if I had to hold it together to do so, lol). I was forced to upgrade, so I went with the iPhone 3. It was a decent phone, it did everything it was supposed to also, and we also had a great relationship until a few years later. It didn't want to hold a charge and the screen would freeze up more often than not. Well because that particular carrier and I weren't on a good relationship with each other, I went with another one (which honestly, I am even MORE unhappy with...but I'm stuck until February 2015) and the iPhone 4. I hate this damn phone! I drop calls like crazy, and can't even use it in my house! The other 3 phones on the same plan work just fine...This is even the second phone they sent me, we've done 2 hard reboots and still no luck. Many times, I don't get messages either...Oh well, sometimes I miss the days when we didn't have to carry these ball-n-chains, especially when the bill comes in!
Now that I am done ranting about technology, let's talk about social media. I love it, and hate it. It is a great tool if used right, but can be used against you also. What a lot of these kids (and I mean pre-teen/teenagers) don't realize is some of the stuff they put on there is just...I don't know the word I want to use here. There's this game a lot of them play, and what they do is put as their status "Rate me" or "Like for truth" or something stupid like that. So other kids respond with "ratings" or they tell the person posting what they think of them...Then they get upset because they don't rank high or get told that they aren't pretty enough to date or something along those lines. Don't we have a big enough problem with bullying? Why would any person purposely subject themselves to that? I don't get it. If I really wanted to know what you thought of me, I would ask you face-to-face, not online where everyone and their brother or stranger can see it. I don't want you to rate me, I may not like what you have to say! So, while bullying really sucks, this only adds to the problem. It doesn't help when these kids subject themselves to it like that. I can't feel sorry for them. It's times like this I am SO glad that Autumn (my 11-year old) doesn't feed into this stupid petty crap. She will even tell you herself it's stupid. This is why I allow her to have a Facebook, she understands what it is supposed to be used for, not some dumb popularity contest like so many seem to think.
While I am ranting on about social media and these kids, here's another thing that annoys me. Stupid self-taken pictures (usually in a messy/dirty bathroom or bedroom) with fish faces (I refuse to call it duck face, because those are made with Pringles, let's get that straight now) sometimes in clothing-or lack thereof-that makes you look like a prostitute in training. Kids really are very self-absorbed and they are in for a serious reality check when they grow up, if they ever do. Also, please utilize a dictionary/thesaurus-if you even know what those are- and spell check. I can't stand it when a certain pre-teen/teenager I know PURPOSELY misspells words. "Yea" becomes "yeaaaaa", "hey" becomes "heyyyyyyyyy", etc. Seriously, it makes it look like you need a new keyboard (in which case, get off your ass and go outside. You spend too much time on the computer/phone) or you just look stupid. That kind of typing does not do you any favors.
Keep in mind, children, that whatever is put on the internet is FOREVER. You can delete it off your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. but someone, somewhere can still pull it up and use it against you. I know this from personal experience, I lost a job that I absolutely loved because I blogged about a problem at work. While I didn't mention names, place, or when it happened, that employer knew exactly what I was talking about. While I still feel to this day I was in the right, she was in the wrong, it doesn't matter...I got fired as a result, even though I had erased the blog. These days, colleges and employers check your social media profiles. If they see you talking likeeeee thissss allllll theeee timeeee or spelling words lyke dis cos it looks kewl, they will look you over and pick someone who looks and acts more intelligent than that. Do you want to miss out on your dream job because you can't make an effort to spell? Or because you posted a picture of yourself at 15 years old getting trashed? Think long term here, boys and girls. I can say that I am glad that social media wasn't around for my teenage, or what I like to call my "young and dumb years" because I probably would have fallen into one of those traps to. I am only grateful that my oldest is smart enough to know this also. Only time will tell about my youngest, though. Let's hope she has enough sense to know better. If not, I am a very watchful mother hawk. I can giveth, and I will certainly taketh if I see that stupid crap go on when she gets her own profiles.
Well, I think I am done ranting and carrying on about my love-hate relationship with technology and social media. After rereading what I wrote, I realized I sound like a grumpy old woman (which I am NOT old, grumpy I can't really argue with) but hey, it's how I feel. Too bad the ones that need to read this, won't. Oh well, you can't help that, you can only hope they learn before it's too late.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
It's been a few years...Here's what's new
Well, I tried my hand at blogging several years ago when I still had a Myspace (or what I liked to call Myspaz) account, but then stopped when I deleted it. People don't really read "notes" on Facebook, so it just kind of went to the wayside. Here recently, I've been reading my mom-in-law's blog and thought it was time to start one back up...So here I am, only 5 years later!
If you want to learn a little about me, you are welcome to read my Google+ profile, but I'll warn you I check that maybe once a month if I am lucky. In fact, I realized I haven't updated it in at least a year. I mean, I am no longer in college, I did finally finish a 2-year degree program...in almost 14 years! Hey, it's better late than never, right? Guess I need to update that when I am done here.
Anyways, I do read several other blogs, even if I don't comment. Sometimes it's better if I keep my mouth shut. I do tend to speak my mind, and sometimes the mind-to-mouth filter doesn't work. So, with that being said, if you read and comment, that's great. If not, that's okay to. Just don't get mad at me if I don't say stuff on yours.
Oh another thing I do on the side is "those" kind of parties. Yep, I am talking about sex toys. I am with a company called For Your Pleasure, and unlike many others out there, it is Co-Ed friendly. That is a big deal, at least to me. Anyways, I really like it and we offer great products to fit every taste and budget. If you are interested, you are welcome to visit my website and place orders, or you can have a party (if you are at least somewhat local) or even be part of the team. I do make a decent amount of money at it, but I only do it part time. There are those ladies that make several hundred into thousands, but that is their full-time job. Right now, that is just not feasible for me, and that's okay. Please, do not click on this link if you are not at least 18 years old!
I also upgraded from being just a cheer coach to being the Cheer Advisor for our team this year (well, next 2 years...It's a two year term). Not sure what I got myself into, or got voted into I should say, but it's already been a learning process. So far it's not too bad, but I haven't had to deal with parents yet. That was fun as a coach (sarcastically speaking) so I can imagine it will be 3X worse. Oh well, not too worried about it. Most of the parents are pretty cool, and know that I like to run a tight ship. But it's like I say, if you don't like how I do something, you could always take over for me...Okay, well, they would have to run against me in 2 years, but I don't even know if I will run for a second term since the second term would start during Tehya's last season in pee wee. I may just coach that year, but we'll wait and see...
Well, I think I will wrap this up for today. I tend to talk a lot, so if I don't stop now, I'll just keep going on and on and...you get the point...
Laters :)
If you want to learn a little about me, you are welcome to read my Google+ profile, but I'll warn you I check that maybe once a month if I am lucky. In fact, I realized I haven't updated it in at least a year. I mean, I am no longer in college, I did finally finish a 2-year degree program...in almost 14 years! Hey, it's better late than never, right? Guess I need to update that when I am done here.
Anyways, I do read several other blogs, even if I don't comment. Sometimes it's better if I keep my mouth shut. I do tend to speak my mind, and sometimes the mind-to-mouth filter doesn't work. So, with that being said, if you read and comment, that's great. If not, that's okay to. Just don't get mad at me if I don't say stuff on yours.
Oh another thing I do on the side is "those" kind of parties. Yep, I am talking about sex toys. I am with a company called For Your Pleasure, and unlike many others out there, it is Co-Ed friendly. That is a big deal, at least to me. Anyways, I really like it and we offer great products to fit every taste and budget. If you are interested, you are welcome to visit my website and place orders, or you can have a party (if you are at least somewhat local) or even be part of the team. I do make a decent amount of money at it, but I only do it part time. There are those ladies that make several hundred into thousands, but that is their full-time job. Right now, that is just not feasible for me, and that's okay. Please, do not click on this link if you are not at least 18 years old!
I also upgraded from being just a cheer coach to being the Cheer Advisor for our team this year (well, next 2 years...It's a two year term). Not sure what I got myself into, or got voted into I should say, but it's already been a learning process. So far it's not too bad, but I haven't had to deal with parents yet. That was fun as a coach (sarcastically speaking) so I can imagine it will be 3X worse. Oh well, not too worried about it. Most of the parents are pretty cool, and know that I like to run a tight ship. But it's like I say, if you don't like how I do something, you could always take over for me...Okay, well, they would have to run against me in 2 years, but I don't even know if I will run for a second term since the second term would start during Tehya's last season in pee wee. I may just coach that year, but we'll wait and see...
Well, I think I will wrap this up for today. I tend to talk a lot, so if I don't stop now, I'll just keep going on and on and...you get the point...
Laters :)
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